http://aarc.ab.ca/a-mothers-story-of-addiction/
I have a 23 year old son who has been clean and sober for six years. In February, 2006 he was admitted to the Alberta Adolescent Recovery Center for treatment of drug and alcohol addiction. This is my story.
In grade 10 Kevin’s behavior started to spiral out of control. He began sneaking out at night and we began setting our alarm system to keep him in. He started stealing money and alcohol, we began locking it up in progressively stronger safes with bigger locks. He was suspended from school and unable to keep a job. Kevin was angry all the time. I felt like a failure as a mother. He didn’t care about anyone or anything and lied continuously. He became verbally abusive and didn’t sleep. I felt lost and hopeless. It was a desperate time.
My insanity spiraled out of control along beside Kevin’s. I went to the high school to try to convince them he was a good kid. I phoned his cell phone constantly – he rarely answered. I woke up every night to see if he was in bed – often he was gone. My doctor said I was suffering from depression. I felt ashamed of my behavior and lived in fear. I could no longer pretend we were a normal family.
Kevin told me he believed in “altered consciousness”. We went to short term treatment but he thought it was a waste of time. We went to family counseling but Kevin thought it was us who needed help. We went to a psychiatrist. By December, 2005 he rarely went to school. I hated the daily phone call from the high school to say he hadn’t been there. Life became too much. On Christmas Eve, 2005 he woke us up to say he owed $800 for a drug debt or he would be beaten up – we gave him the cash. I felt hopeless and lived with constant anxiety. I also thought if I could just fix that sadness under Kevin’s anger everything would be okay. I needed to keep the peace at all costs. We took him to an addictions specialist who said he needed to go to AARC.
Today we understand that alcoholism/addiction is a powerful but treatable disease. It is also rampant in our communities but misunderstood and largely ignored. We are very proud our son – who lives daily the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I guess one thing that was remarkable when we were in AARC was how similar our story was to everyone else’s.